Womanhood

Dr. E. L. Billings
Printed with Permission

Paper given at Lille, France, on November 1990

As part of the preparation for the Ovulation Method workshops at our Annual General Meeting in Melbourne in September this year, we sent letters to all our teachers, Australiawide, asking for topic suggestions, and for questions that they wished to have answered. There were very few questions about the basic science or methodology since the reference books are readily available to the teachers. Most of the suggestions were about management skills, confidencebuilding among the couples and among the new teachers, and about mutual suppon between teachers. The distances between centres in Australia are sometimes very great and hence the teachers tend to feel rather isolated. The conference and the workshops are great ways of building reassurance and confidence between these new teachers.

Among the topic suggestions was this:

"Womanhood: the dignity of woman and the indignity of contraception".

As an introduction to the workshops some thoughts on this topic were offered with particular reference to teaching obligations.

Role of Women

In a booklet released on 1st August 1990 by the Ministry of Education in Victoria, influenced by a strong feminist argument, objection was made to "sexist language" in the statement that "women are valued more for their role of wives and mothers'' than for their "intellectual contribution in a professional setting", and that a woman should not be referred to as an "attractive wife and mother", etc. The booklet said, "Unless educators ensure that their language is non-sexist, they subtly but successfully teach their students that differences in role, temperament and status in society are sex-linked and therefore, unchangeable".

A fair comment could be made that feminine behaviour and temperament are sex-linked and do not preclude an intellectual contribution which is not sex-linked; that child-bearing is an attractive and indispensable sex-linked role and that the status of women will be improved by women themselves fostering these roles, not by denying their existence. By training boys at an early age to acknowledge and respect the femininity and capacity as well as the attractiveness of women, they will not only elevate womanhood, but will elevate manhood as well. Language should be used to say what it meansÑno more, no less. When used to change what is undesirable and enhance what is good, it becomes a powerful tool for reform. It is necessary to understand what truly needs reforming, and in order to do this the facts must be acknowledged.

Physical and Emotional Endowments of Women

Physically a woman is specially endowed to conceive, to give binh and nunure a child. She is emotionally endowed to love with a special love and bring the child to maturity both physically and spiritually. As well, as pan of her feminine endowment, a woman has physical powers of attraction to a man and qualities of attractiveness to him which culminate in a physical relationship which results in the binh of their child. These physical components of her femininity are fused undeniably with her feminine nature which instinctively accepts the child and the protective role. In order to fulfil this role she seeks security, fidelity, 3 protection and harmony in her male partner, requiring and demanding his eelfless love. To be wanted, loved and challenged by a woman whose needs for herself and child are great, challenges and enhances his masculinity. This enables him to exercise his male role and express his male strength and tender love. Her demands are essential for him to realise his maleness.

Included in the complex make-up of a woman's nature is her human ability to think, to exen her will, to choose, to modify, expand and direct or deny her innate capabilities. Likewise, her husband has the same possibility of chinking, exerting his will and choosing. It is in the complementarily of the realisation of their respective roles as male or female that they develop the capacity to love most fully and to make choices which furfil dhe Divine Plan for them and their offspring.

Love by Divine design has been made an act of the will. It is through dhe exercise of love in the matter of the will that woman, in her expression of womanhood, reaches the pinnacle of perfection. She does this most surely in her union with the husband whose love is subject to his will.

Wisdom is a combination of knowledge and love.

As it is necessary to act with wisdom in the communication between men and women for whatever purpose, but especially in the sexual, reproductive relationship between a man and a woman, it is dherefore important chat essential knowledge is acquired. It is necessary for a woman to know herself physically, emotionally and as a human being beloved of the Creator and subject to His lawsÑlaws of nature and laws of love. When she has gained this knowledge and appreciation of herself, her role and purpose, her importance and indispensability, she will have realised her true status, and become (as Ingrid Trobisch an African Lutheran missionary once put it so aptly) "a true princess, a daughter of the Eternal King". As such, she is in a position of command. She asks for and insists on being loved and, as the writer Anthony Burgess expressed it recendy on a radio program in Melbourne, together they experience "the immense beatitude of loving someone and being loved".

Ravages of Contraception

Not only in the West but in many poor countries, we have seen the ravages of contraception backed up by abortion, introduced to people through the scaremongering propaganda of world overpopulation. Even in countries where many babies and young adults of child-bearing age are dying of AIDS, adolescents are induced to join in the dangers of sexual activities with the wrong and damaging advice to protect themselves with condoms. Infertility is becoming more prevalent and is posing a national threat in many countries.

The artificial way of controlling fertility leave a couple poorer. It removes any incentive to learn how nature operates or any desire to take personal control. The whole object of contraceptive use is to prevent the birth of a child. Having been made fearful of the child by propaganda people have become hostile to him. Failed contraception logically is "corrected" by abortion. The woman as a consequence becomes always available for the pleasure of the man and remains his possession. Separated by a fragmented act of intercourse they never know each other, or trust each other, or stand faithfully by each other. She has lost a powerful component of her femininity, part of her attractiveness has gone, and part of her power. Her status in the eyes of her husband is lowered amd becomes even less in her own.

The Ovulation Method and the Status of Women of Child-bearing Age

In our teaching of the Ovulation Method, the wealth of knowledge which we impart gradually to the couple, over the period of learning, results particularly in a raising of the status of the woman, first in her own eyes and then in the eyes of her husband. Many times we have seen in countries overseas where women commonly are regarded as mere chattels, that men come to see how clever are their wives in recognising fertility, and develop an awe and wonder and a dawning respect.

How loving they become in co-operating in a new way with their wives and with nature in order to bring to life their babies in due course. We can see among people with no learned knowledge of the Creator now coming to exhibit a dignified self-respect and can find human beings living in full accordance with His precepts. We have seen the happiness of the children. To see dhis is the reward of every Ovulation Method teacher who leads couples to the full realisation of themselves as human beings beloved of Almighty God, healthy in body and mind as ordained.

The communication of love, which includes the child and the acceptance of the possibility of conception, pervades Ovulation Method teaching which can never be seen as simply a technique for regulating fertility. If the teacher realises that she is leading people through her love for them to a greater appreciation of their love for each other and ultimately to the infinite love of the Creator, she will have all the assurance and confidence necessary to be a good Ovulation Method teacher.

Good Ovulation Method teaching may not necessarily be reflected by a low total pregnancy rate. In this attitude we find ourselves at variance with other birth-control groups whose sole purpose is to prevent births. How often have we seen couples vehemently rejecting the idea of the child, having newly come from contraception and its conflict with procreation, subsequently in the light of new-found knowledge of biology and with newfound love for each other and with trust, soon come to seek a pregnancy. Couples losing their fear of "babies unlimited" likewise choose conception confident in their capabilities of control. Ovulation Method teaching always accepts that the motivation towards or away from conception belongs entirely to the couple at any time. It is a matter for the most profound decision between a loving couple. It is not for any teacher to assess the suitability or otherwise of any pregnancy, no matter however the circumstances may appear. The teacher demonstrates a loving welcome for each baby. Her responsibility ends with her satisfaction that she has taught well and that the couple has learned well, especially if they have learned to love.

The reward for this is immeasurable. No monetary value or kudos is ever sought. Deep affection between teachers and happiness wrought in the lives of others is more than enough compensation for the hours generously spent.

The Ovulation Method in Later Life

What do we suppose is the purpose of the ending of fertility in middle-age for human beings, that is, in women, when it does not occur in any other animal species? We know that bearing and rearing of children is a very time-consuming business. It is also a training and learning time, not only for the young children but also for the parents. Patience, perseverance, justice in love, self-expendability and generosity are all virtues acquired as a result of the exorbitant and merciless demands made by the completely dependent children. s In order to meet dhe demands parents must begin with love and with love carry the task through.

After middle-age, there is no more child-bearing for the mother. She now enters a phase of her life rich in experience and trained as only a mother is trained to be always readily aware of the needs and difficulties of others around her. She is naturally a good Ovulation Method teacher. She uses this rich training in further guiding and helping her now adolescent children, and later her married children and then later still in a more remote but still valuable way her grandchildren. With extra time at her disposal she is free to develop other talents and desires. Women of this age, sadly sometimes, having given completely of themselves to family life, feel that vice the '~mmediacy of the family demands is removed, that dhey are living in a vacuum and are overwhelmed by a nothingness where they see themselves as no longer needed or useful. The loss of fertility although a relief to many as the physical demands of pregnancy become greater, to others may be a dispiriting experience which is seen as a loss of personal sign)ficance. No woman should be left to sink into this sort of depression. Her husband, with a litde thought, can do so very much to shine up her selfesteem. She needs only to be appreciated and loved and told that she is his best and dearest, praised for her achievements, in order to be helped to adjust to a positive future. In this active thoughtfulness a husband is demonstrating to society the respect and honour due to women by paying a tribute to his own wife's intelligence, achievements and capabilities which enable her to undertake other activities with success.

The Ovulation Method teachers, especially if very young, must understand the special needs of these women. The teacher can do much to help her cope widh this phase of chang. in her physiology and psyche. It is especially helpful for couples to be interviewed together. Fortunately fertility regulation is not difficult at dhis time and the indications of infertility are increasing steadily. It is important that there be no disruption in sexual relationship through lack of understanding of fertility.

And the couple is a couple still. Infertility is at last established naturally. Appropriately the woman is still loved for herself, now without her fertility. She is attractive to her husband still and even more so. Over long years of sharing various experiences together, perhaps bearing and rearing children, perhaps not, but in co-operating and living their appointed destinies together they have developed a rich human love which has risen from a total acceptance of the Divine Plan for d~em as a married couple. The flame of first love has become an unquenchable fire at whose hearth many are warmed. We have aH had experiences of helping these wonderful people through temporary difficulties and have ourselves been warmed and comforted.

It is good for us as teachers to reflect on the intention of the Creator for human happiness. Our work is directed always to furdhering that plan. It is always possible to find a solution to difficulties, but sometimes couples are asked to accept sacrifices and hardships when they choose to obey the natural law which governs fertility control. By our knowledge and love for the people we teach, we can liberate and support them, and help a woman and a man retain their personal dignity and love for each other and their children. Love is the inspiration for our endeavours, while we strive to achieve an excellence in knowledge in order to give the couples the very best that is available.

And so we follow our motto: Credidimus Caritati: We have put our trust in love.

Teach with love.