I wish I was like my friend
Q⁄A on Human Sexuality for Teenagers

John Ooi Peng Lee
Master of Engineering, University of Singapore
Master in Education, University of Manchester
Reproduced with permission.

ADOLESCENCE AND MATURATION

Question 6:

I wish I was like my friend. She's pretty, she can sing well, she's a good swimmer, and everyone likes her. I'm not good at anything and nobody finds me interesting. I have no one I could really call a friend.

Answer 6:

Are you aware of your own talents? Everyone has some things that he or she is good at. It is important to recognise your strengths, and as explained in Q 1.5, to value and to esteem yourself. How have you used your talents to help your friends and family? Remember that the best way to make friends is to be a friend.

At the same time, if you want to be really happy in life, you will have to be glad to be yourself. Can you learn to like yourself as you are? There will always be others more talented than you are, and there will also be others less talented. There is no need to be envious. Of course, there will be things that you are dissatisfied with, but part of growing up is trying to become a better person each day. This means that you are aware of your faults, imperfections or weaknesses, and you make an effort to improve. For instance, if you want to be a better sportswoman, you will do what is realistically possible to improve your skills, like getting tips from better players, putting in more practice, and so on. However, you know that these efforts take time to bear fruit. In the process, it is important to be at peace with yourself, knowing that you are trying your best to improve.

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nov 31/Jul/00