The experience of human suffering takes many forms; however, it is something that all of us have in common. The amount of suffering that a person can handle will vary greatly from person to person. There are people who can deal with, what would appear to the rest of us, as a great amount of suffering and continue to persevere while others seem to fall apart at the slightest amount of suffering.
In his book, Man's Search for Meaning, Dr. Viktor E. Frankl, the father of Logotherapy, reflects upon his experiences as a prisoner at the Auschwitz death camp during World War II. Frankl makes the point that a person can suffer a great deal if he or she can make some sense out of their suffering. He said, "We can endure a great deal of what if we understand the why." He found that when rumors were spread through the concentration camp that the prisoners were going to be freed on a particular day that the prisoners mental and physical state actually improved. However, once that day came and went and there was no release their condition deteriorated.
One of the ways that the prisoners were given some sense of hope was by helping them to focus on fact that there was life beyond the death camp. He writes, "When we spoke about attempts to give a man mental courage, we said that he had to be shown something to look forward to in the future. He had to be reminded that life still waited for him, that a human being waited for his return."1
While most of us are fortunate enough to not have gone through the experience of the Nazi death camps, the truth is that the same approach to dealing with hope is true for all types of suffering. Hope is not the same as wishful thinking. If my hometown had been experiencing a drought and I asked my neighbor, "Do you think it is going to rain?" and he responds, "I hope so", this is not hope. He may have a strong desire for rain; however, his strong desire is not necessarily the same thing as hope.
The experience of the Second World War had a major impact upon our understanding of how God relates to us in terms of suffering. Prior to World War II, the traditional understanding of suffering assumed that God exists beyond suffering or is transcendent to it. This motif is known as "divine impassability"2 It is not the issue of suffering which led to this new thinking, but the idea of meaningless suffering which poses the deepest threat to human beings. The involvement of God with human anguish is one way to affirm the meaningfulness of suffering and to sustain hope in the midst of affliction.3
Another major challenge in regard to suffering is attempting to place one's experience within their worldview. In one his chapters in Grief Counseling: Facilitating Uncomplicated Grief, William Worden offers ten principles for pastoral caregivers which could be used to assist the sufferer. Principle Four is "Help Find Meaning in the Loss". He mentions that some people who cannot answer the question "why" with regard to the death of a loved one have become involved in political, philanthropic, or caretaking activities related to the manner of death which took their loved one. These activities help them to believe and to say that his or her death was not in vain.4 One prominent example of this is the creation of the television show, "America's Most Wanted". The show was created by John Walsh, whose young son Adam was murdered in Florida. Mr. Walsh became involved in the cause of victims' rights and began his television show in 1987 to help bring fugitives to justice. This was (and is) his way of coping with the death of his son.
With regard to finding meaning in suffering, Rabbi Yaakov Feldman writes, "There is more yet to say about the place of human suffering in the big picture. It's that sometimes we're made to suffer so as to step back and look deeply within ourselves. After all, when all is well and the world itself is sweet, good, and then some, the world is enough. And the idea of introspection and change is absurd, for all intents and purposes. Why take the time?"5
One of the most profound stories of what appears to be meaningless suffering is the Book of Job. While the story of Job is quite "simple", the content becomes problematic because of the reason given for Job's suffering. In the beginning of chapter one, Job is referred to as an upright and blameless man who feared God and turned away from evil. There is no indication in the story that Job is Jewish, in fact there is a strong possibility that he was not an Israelite at all. The story continues that Satan was roaming about the earth and God asks him if he has considered God's servant, Job. Satan replies that the only reason why Job is so faithful to God is because of all that he has been given. However, if all of this is taken away Satan is convinced that Job would turn away from God instantly.
As a result of this conversation, God and Satan enter into a bet and Satan is given permission to do whatever he wants to Job as long as he does not kill him. By the end of the first chapter, Job's livestock and children are all killed. Upon hearing this news, Job tore his robe, shaved his head, and fell to the ground worshiping God. He said, "Naked have I come from my mother's womb, and naked shall I return there: the Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord." (Job 1:21) In regard to the death of a child, Ester Shapiro writes, "The integrity of the family system is shattered by the death of a child. Although couples with surviving children have continuing responsibilities in their roles as parents, they frequently become preoccupied with the attachment loss to the dead child and the implications of the death for their injured sense of self as person and parent."6 The way this story is written, Job is not really given sufficient time to mourn the loss of his children. Beginning in chapter two Satan starts to attack Job's health. Job is covered with loathsome soars from head to toe and sits in ashes as a sign of repentance. Job's wife offers him less than helpful advice by encouraging him to curse God and die so that his suffering might come to an end. Job responds, "You speak as any foolish woman would speak. Shall we receive the good at the hand of God and not receive the bad?" (Job 2:10) Job refuses to turn from God.
Job can find no meaning in his suffering, he professes that he lacks the inner resources to cope with his anguish, he has received no support or encouragement from his friends, and his overwhelming emotions are becoming a weight which is too heavy to bear. William Worden states "A fifth special feature of sudden death is the sense of helplessness that it elicits on the part of the survivor. This type of death is an assault on our sense of power and on our sense of orderliness. Often this helplessness is linked with an incredible sense of rage, and it is not unusual for the survivor to want to vent his or her anger on someone."7 It is quite interesting that Job does not get angry at God, as much as he laments God's absence. In Jewish Pastoral Care: A Practical Handbook, Rabbi Myriam Klotz writes, Eliphaz, Bildad, and Zophar are all unable to comfort Job through asserting that his suffering must be his own fault. The text does not permit Job to be understood as guilty, but rather, as a good person whose sufferings were not deserved. What does provide comfort for Job? He begins to reach peace when he feels again the presence of God in his life. It is not that God has provided any answers to Job in his suffering. In fact, when God becomes present to Job, God explains that human beings can never fully comprehend the ways of the Infinite and Powerful One. The simple affirmation of God's presence with Job in his sufferings is what comforts him.8
Klotz states, "It is not the role of the pastoral caregiver to diminish the awesome mystery at the heart of the experience of suffering by explaining it away, but it can be helpful to sufferers in their journey to provide them with an understanding of theological contexts in which Jews have tried to understand God's relationship to suffering. Pastoral caregivers can offer some of this understanding, and can extend validating permission for sufferers to consider these frameworks as a possible springboard for meaning. At different times in life, one perspective can be more helpful than others. This model of relationship to Jewish theological approaches to suffering evolves over the course of a lifetime. It reaffirms the presence of the Shechna's imminent mystery (God's presence), hovering over those who suffer, encouraging them to respond to their suffering in a meaningful, reflective way.9
As a priest, my effort is to bring the Good News of Jesus to others. One definition of pastoral care is, "The art of communicating the inner meaning of the Gospel to persons at the point of their need."10 Charles Gerkin expanded the emphasis on incarnational theology beyond the pastoral relationship itself toward recognition of the incarnate presence of God in events and relationships in all human life.11 Assisting someone to feel that they are loved by God, not because of anything that they have done but simply because they exists, will enable them to move from a sense of guilt and loneliness to one of acceptance and belonging. Incarnating God's love to them does not mean that I condone the choices which they made Regardless of the choices that a person makes with their lives they are still precious in God's eyes and needs to know that God still loves them even after making what the Church would consider a wrong decision.
Jesus' entry into human history did not take place because of our personal worthiness. There is nothing that we can possibly do to earn God's love, compassion, and fidelity. These are freely bestowed gifts which are made manifest in the lives of believers through the two-fold expression of love of God and love of neighbor. As Christians, we are told to love God with our whole heart, mind, soul, and strength and our neighbor as ourselves. This presupposes that one actually loves him or herself. One of the characteristics of someone who is suffering may be a feeling of self-loathing.
I see my role in regard to helping people deal with their suffering is interpretive guide. Charles Gerkin describes this role as follows, "As interpretive guide of the community of Christians, the pastor is thus called on not only to nurture the process by which the community cares for its members, but also to nurture within the members of the community an awareness of the needs of all people of the world."12 My responsibility as an interpretive guide is to both help my parishioners to be a loving and caring community for our members, but also inspire them to reach out to those outside of the community and thereby bring God's self-communication of love to others who are not now part of the group. Part of my priestly identity as an interpretive guide involves my serving as a Compassionate Presence for all those I minister to.
It is extremely important that pastoral care provider be able to empathically listen to those who come to him for counseling. Listening is an art which can be developed over time, provided that the counselor is truly interested in learning how to listen. Each human life has a story and it is essential that a pastoral care provider listen to the person's story in order to enter into their worldview. When listening to another person there is always the possibility that this other person might have a worldview or personal philosophy which differs greatly from our own. This may become a source of anxiety for the care provider; however, it is essential that he acknowledge his anxiety and move beyond it in order to be of benefit to the patient. All of these dimensions must work together in order for someone to be an effective pastoral care provider.
Even though the issue of suffering is common to all people, how we handle it is normally as unique as a fingerprint. It is important to keep in mind that there are limits to what any individual can do in terms of helping someone else deal with suffering. As a priest, I can offer comfort and support while helping the person try and place their experience with the wider Christian tradition; however, there may come a time when the person might actually need psychological assistance in helping them to deal with much deeper issues. It is important for anyone assisting another person with their suffering to be aware of when they might need additional assistance and be willing to provide them with the resources by putting them in touch with someone who can assist them in that regard.
1 Frankl, Viktor E. Man's Search for Meaning: An Introduction to Logotherapy, NY: Washington Square Press, 1969, p. 146 [Back]
2 Hunter, Rodney (ed.), Dictionary of Pastoral Care and Counseling (DPCC) Nashville, TN: Abingdon Press, 1990, p. 1231 [Back]
4 Worden, J. William Grief Counseling and Grief Therapy: A Handbook for Mental Health Practitioners NY: Springer Publishing, 2002, p. 63 [Back]
5 Rabbi Yakkov Feldman: http://www.torah.org/learning/ramchal/classes/wog2-3-5.html Posted: 2002, Accessed May 5, 2007 [Back]
6 Shapiro, Ester Grief as a Family Process NY: The Guildford Press, 1994, p. 187 [Back]
8 Friedman, Dayle (ed.) Jewish Pastoral Care: A Practical Handbook VT: Jewish Lights Publishing, 2005, p. 9 [Back]
12 Gerkin, Charles V. An Introduction to Pastoral Care Nashville: Abingdon Press, 1997, p.127. [Back]