Ten Years Older Than I
Q⁄A on Human Sexuality for Teenagers

John Ooi Peng Lee
Master of Engineering, University of Singapore
Master in Education, University of Manchester
Reproduced with permission.

Dating and Going Steady

Question 17:

There is a boy who is ten years older than I am who is interested in me. Do you think it is possible for us to have a close relationship?

Answer 17:

The more you have in common with someone, the easier it would be to develop a close relationship. There will be less contentious issues that can cause arguments, since what you expect from the relationship would be similar. If you are sixteen and he is twenty-six, the differences in experience and expectations are significant. He may already be thinking of marriage while you are still going to school and preparing for a career. It would not be advisable to develop a relationship then. But if you were fifty and he were sixty, the same ten-year difference would not matter very much here. It is possible, in theory, to make a relationship work even if there are major differences such as age, religious belief, race or social background. However, both of you must be mature enough, and will have to work hard to overcome your differences and perhaps the prejudice of your family or friends.