On the Road to Healing
Case Study to Healing, (Kari L.)

The Post-Abortion Review
Vol. 9, No. 3, Oct-Dec 2001
Editor: David C. Reardon, Ph.D.
Elliot Institute
Reproduced with Permission

I had an abortion when I was 17 years old. I was the youngest in the family and no one ever expected that I would become pregnant so soon. My family was disappointed in me. My mother was sad, but willing to help me at the same time. I was willing to keep the baby and do what I had to do to survive.

But one day my boyfriend -- then of a year -- wanted to talk. He said he was not ready to be a daddy and that having a baby now would be too stressful and we would not be able to care for it. I knew in my heart that I could -- with or without him.

From that day on my answer to him asking for an abortion was "no!" But finally after weeks of my boyfriend pressuring me and bothering me, I finally gave in. He had pressed the issue of abortion so much that is was pretty much stuck in my mind that I had to have an abortion. He told me that we could not care for a baby and I started believing him.

One day while at my vocational class at school, I found a phone book and looked up the numbers for abortion clinics. Finding one, I went home and told my mom that I had changed my mind. I did not want to keep the baby. My mom believes in a woman's choice so she did not argue or disagree. I told my boyfriend and he just nodded his head and asked, "When?" By that evening I had made an appointment--more like a death sentence for my baby, but at the time that is not what I thought.

Days before the procedure, I came home and my brother, who at the time was 22, was home alone. He asked me to sit down, that he wanted to talk to me. I felt very uncomfortable being that I never really ever talk to my older brother. To my surprise he started crying. He said, "Please don't do it Kari. Don't. You have no idea what it is like! I've had girlfriends that have had abortions, and it hurt me!" Staring at my brother crying made me just want to cry too. But no, I knew what I had to do. I stayed strong; I would not let myself cry. I couldn't. He said, "If you keep the baby, I will help you out with anything--money, food, clothes. Please just don't do it." But I kept telling him that I had to, that I had already made up my mind.

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