I knew a couple in school who seemed very compatible. They spent a lot of time together and we all thought they were so suited to each other. Yet their marriage broke down after two years.
Nowadays, we see many young couples who spend a lot of time together. After school and on weekends, the two of them are together, holding hands and saying very nice things to each other. A very compatible couple, very much in love? Hardly. They are more likely to be just two young persons carried away with romantic feelings, in love with the thought of being in love rather than with each other. Spending so much time together that other friends, personal interests and duties are neglected is not healthy, because one person cannot meet all the needs of another. It's almost like eating your favourite junk food all the time. After a while you get sick, because you don't have proper nutrition. In such a relationship, the couple will get bored with each other after some time. In a really good and strong relationship, each person wants to share himself (or herself) with the other, but allows the partner to grow individually.
What is meant by two people being compatible? Many people emphasise sexual compatibility, as though it were the most important thing in a relationship. Our sexuality refers to our total self. To be compatible merely means that our partner suits us as a total person so that we can live with each other peacefully. This means that both partners are open to each other's point of view and can accept personal differences, but are able to agree on issues important to them. Reaching this agreement is naturally easier if both share similar views on such issues.
Good Marriages Require Commitment and Hard Work
Happy marriages do not happen by accident. You know that you have to work hard if you want to succeed in your career. Every marriage will face problems, because two different people are trying to share a life together. If you want a happy marriage, the problems that arise have to be worked at and solved. This demands time, effort and commitment. There are couples who enter marriage thinking that they will go their separate ways if the relationship doesn't work out. However, their chances for a happy and successful marriage are reduced because they are less likely to work hard at solving their problems together. This is why commitment to each other should be total and life-long. Total commitment means that the needs of the spouse are unselfishly placed above a person's own wants.
Commitment does not necessarily solve all marital problems. A couple facing difficulties may sometimes need help from a third party who can give good counsel. Commitment, however, does provide a very good environment for solving problems, because it means a willingness and determination to endure troubled times and to work through difficulties against all odds. Many a couple has found that their marriage could be made to work because they worked hard to overcome their difficulties.
Marriage is a life-long commitment that demands a willingness to work for the good of the spouse and family at all costs. To repeat an important point, a couple who are already good friends and are prepared to make that total and life-long commitment to each other are much more likely to have a happy and successful marriage.